Simplified..

The freedom is deceptive,
I had it when I was born,
It dissipated then,
I will have it back,
When my body dies !

Because now what I remember is an evanescent bubble of my past,
The past when I was not born !
Reaching the highest points of literary education,
& satisfying the expectations,
I lost my self in the name of the freedom,
That which exists not..

Listening, Talking, Reading,
I gained the information,
Digesting the various blues that life brings,
I learned to paint a picture out of it,
But it felt like a stiletto stuck in a muddy land..

I will have freedom,
When I am gone,
& I am there to see it coming..